When my parents were trying to get a divorce (they failed). My mother was trying to buy my affection, she rented a purple volkswagen beetle because of the colour and the car being my faves. She drove me to a fair, I was very young and my parents had never taken me to a fair before.

There was a huge roller coaster, and I excitedly begged to have my first ride. It was one of the most terrifying experiences of my small life, and I cried ‘I thought that was supposed to be FUN!!!’ and my mother tried to console me by spending a ton of money aiming darts at balloons to win me a purple plush penguin. She won. I loved that penguin.

I never again got on any other ride at a fairground. Except a ferris wheel when my highshool sweetheart kinda made me. That was terrifying too. I do not understand why people like fairgrounds, they should be called feargrounds and they should PAY US to go on those evil rides.

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